The past few days I've been having an identity crisis - all relating to my blog (persona). I seem to be getting too involved with the activity (addicted?). So I promised myself to not to post anything or even log into blogger for sometime.
I just thought that I'd just look at other people's blog; one thing led to another and before I knew what I was doing I was commenting away happily on other blogs but not as Visitor, but by other name(s) or as anonymous! Not only am I having an identity crisis, I am also hopelessly addicted.
When I created the Visitor persona for commenting on other's blogs, I had meant to keep myself anonymous for various reasons. I wanted to let persons have their own image of what I was, based on what they could have perceived of me from my comments. In some comments I have revealed more about myself, than what I'd have wanted.
Now this anonymity fetish that I seem to have is the source of all my worries. While I wanted to keep myself anonymous, everyone else with whom I've 'interacted' have been very frank and open about themselves. 'Knowing about the writer' has helped me put the writer's ideas in perspective and appreciate the post better. In fact, the blogs of those who have been very open have appealed to me a lot.
I feel guilty (about being anonymous) and a lot of uncomfortable questions keep popping up :
- Am I fair to the others (bloggers) by being anonymous?
- Should I reveal my real identity? I envy those (Madura, Raman, Premalatha) who make no bones revealing their true identity and about what others would think.
- Should I reveal only parts or the whole of the "real" me? (this real me is not necessarily my meatspace identity (nice phrase isn't it? lifted it ;) from the comment on another blog).
- In my past comments, is/are there anything that I would NOT say with my real identity? OMG- there are numerous things that I would never have uttered, if I knew X or Y knew this aspect of the real me.
- That does smack of hypocrisy - doesn't it? LOL
- Then have I been dishonest in my comments? No, I have always expressed my real feelings in my comments.
- Then am I dishonest in my real life? I dont know to answer that truthfully. Maybe I'm more non-commital (ambiguous) in my real life opinions.
Some options before me (suggestions I've made to myself)-
- Dont mix up issues - stick to your original Visitor idea - be objective, dont get 'involved'.
- Don't introspect too much - just do what you feel at a given moment.
- Reveal your identity , or atleast parts of it.
- End it all - I mean kill Visitor. That sounds rather dramatic and nice :) and I can go about feeling miserable and sorry for myself
The past couple of days I've been miserable trying to sort myself out. And I haven't got any answers yet. :(
23 comments:
You know my answer. :)
there's no question of being fair or unfair to any other blogger! the ones who are open about themselves do not expect the same from others in order to appreciate their work. So, don't feel obligated to share anything that you don't want to. Also, anything you reveal on the internet is out there forever, so it may be better for employement and so on that your real identity be disassociated with your blog identity. so far nobody's figured out how to advertise based on things that people reveal on their blogs, but soon companies will start doing that. it may be better at that stage to not have so much known about yourself... anyway, as always, my 2 paise. I appreciate your views regardless of your background history or personality.
when u loose ur self in a identity crisis..
its time to get away from everything and go 4 a long holiday..
its best to go to places with caves exploring etc..
it will help u realise ur self..
after only a person who knows himself can know others!!
am with you any decision you make- i think u do a great job as the visitor
There are something you should know. You cant kill "The Visitor". I cannot say the same things I wrote in Madura's blog, because the issues are different.
I am an ENFP (duh) and known to jump to conclusions: visitor is not someone different from your real self. Your characteristics diffuses into Visitor, and from what I can guess, (not from your own revealing) that you are a guy (girls are not sooo open), you are a very open guy and most importantly, are not afraid to say what you wanted to say -> sometimes makes you delete comments (yeah I saw those), and shows that you are not afraid of failures and definitely not afraid to apologize. You might very well be ENFP. Atleast "E" and "F".
So, the visitor does not have a identity crisis. The point I am tring to get across is that, Yeah, it would be nice to know more about your real name, where you were born, what you do, but in the end, none of that matters. If you choose to, you could always be the visitor. So, you see, atleast I do not demand your real-world name, but would like to see "the visitor" here and there in the blog world.
Coz, we love to have the visitor.
and yes, I am a MCP. I know. ;)
@latha - that option is the most frightening one :(
@mosilager - that clarification does help Ranjit, that I am not under an obligation to disclose my identity, and gives me a case (of course to myself) as to why I should NOT reveal my identity :) Thanks
@vishesh - That is an interesting idea - I've been wanting to run away from work and everything for sometime. Maybe I'll do that now. And Vishesh, I had visited your blog and the blogs of some of your friends. I dont remember if I left a comment
@artnavy - Thanks for your encouragement :)
@kid - the kid has graced my blog with a comment atlast, thanks. Thanks also for that analysis of my personality. That you are an MCP is evident ;) from some of your statements on your blog. Chivalry was considered a virtue in an earlier generation, but today to be chivalrous is to be male chauvinistic. So, how you are looked at depends on the observer.
i dont know you and in all probability you dont know me... i am the vestige and you are the visitor... or so we choose to call ourselves...
is it a pretence ... yes at a level
hypocracy ... probably ... but it does no harm to others...
infact if you were to reveal yourself... i guess you (and I) probably wouldnt be as honest... so let i be
addiction well thats anothe story... you shall grow over it...
After reading the first half, I was gonna say "You think a little too much". Well, you have that point (no.2) already. Visitor is not very anonymous, so you can continue to be "you". I dont think revealing your name makes any difference unless you have a big fan club dying to know your name or you have some online stalkers.;-)
I think the questions you might want to address are:
a) why you would like to be anonymous, and,
b) why would you want to reveal all about yourself.
Keep in mind, that for many of us, our internet personality is different from our real ones. Moreover, even as an anonymous blogger or commenter, you create a persona, which is indeed an identity... it is certainly not anonymous as people know your views and your tastes, your style of writing. They might not know how old you are, or what you do for a living, or what your gender is, but do these really matter in the internet world?
I do not think there is a question of being unfair to other bloggers by being anonymous. Because in the internet world you are not anonymous... you certainly have an identity, as the blogger of this blog and the by the comments you make on others'.
It is your blog, your personality... you should do with it and in it as you please (as long as it isn't hurting others)... there is no reason why you have to conform to any set conventions simply because there aren't any, this is your space. Again, you should make the rules and break them too, make new ones if you like... it is your space. The only thing that matters is your comfort level. You certainly shouldn't be apolegetic or have guilt pangs about it.
@vestige - Yes vestige, it is all a pretense - I think the comfort level that we have in pretending is what determines to what extent we pretend. Thanks for dropping in.
btw - of what are you a vestige of? :)
@Deepa - welcome here. Well, thinking too much @ inappropriate times seems to be a part of me, I guess I'll have to live with it. Oh! you've brought me down to cloud zero (if there is such a word)- I thought there were internet denizens out there clamouring: 'Who is the Visitor?'. ;)
@a.s. The scientist in you is speaking. LOL. Yes, defining the problem in terms of clear questions does help; and thanks for the elaborate reasoning on the position of being anonymous, that does give me comfort. :)
completely off topic visitor but i had to reenable the word verification, too many spam comments otherwise show up in random parts of the blogs... sorry about the inconvenience.
My answer was not asking your real name or in which street do you live. :)
anyway,
I have a q.
what bothered you when you were commenting under more than "visitor" id? Did anyone ask you for your name again? I remember seeing you under different id or anonymous, but the comments were not very different from the-visitor comments. then, why bother? may be I have not seen all of your ids and comments.
anyway, how did you feel when you were commenting like that? guilty? why? no need to, imo.
@premalatha (not premananda. LOL)
What bothered me was not any question anybody asked me; it was that I asked myself if I was doing the right thing by 'hiding' myself. It was my own discomfort that led me to introspection. I wasn't guilty, I felt irresponsible and had the time of my life at that time. I probably felt guilty at having such a nice time.
I knew that some of my comments would be recognisable (by you, kid and madura) as those of the-visitor.
to be honest not too much thought into it... probably "the vestige" is the vestige of what could/can be me... vestige because its dormant...if u know wht i mean
@vestige - that seems to be a negative approach to take. Why be the vestige when you could be complete?
I felt irresponsible and had the time of my life at that time. I probably felt guilty at having such a nice time.
This is what I was enquiring.
An update - the issue of anonymity has been discussed at the blogher site, and I had a big surprise! Excerpts of this post were quoted in that post!
@the visitor
keep asking myself tht...
@premlatha
very well put
but its not always that ... a lot of times its lack of courage...which i guess originates from the what if syndrome...not the same as guilt for enjoyment
@vestige - Have you found the answer?
Post a Comment